Realizations

So I'm lying here in bed and all of a sudden it hits me: I'm going to be a Mom. I'm going to be responsible for 2 living, breathing human beings for the rest of my life.

It's funny how something that started so abstract is slowly coming into focus. Seeing the babies on the ultrasound screen kind of really did it for me, moreso now, because they are actually looking more and more human. These creatures are inside me, growing and developing every day. It kind of blows your mind.

In my brain, I'm focusing on lists, things we need to do, things we need to buy, doctors appointments, tests, blood work.. You know, practicalities. My heart has been guarded. Each step in this long process has brought me closer to reality, but at any given instant, things could always go horribly wrong. I've seen it. Now though, it's real. It's happening. And here comes that standby: fear.

But you know, women for generations, thousands of years have had babies. Why can't I? I can, and that's the first time in a very long time I can actually say that. I can do this. I will. It's in me, it's just been hiding.

Here's my babies from the 13 week scan. Aren't they beautiful? I'm still hoping for one of each. We will know in about 5 weeks. I hope!







- Posted from my iphone!