Feelings, nothing more than feelings

How are you feeling?

I get asked this question a lot as I'm going through this epic journey.

Physically, I'm good so far. The shots are not unbearable. They don't hurt at all going in, but the medication stings a bit. Not the end of the world by any means. I'm not a wuss for needles, so it's not a big deal. I've been poked an prodded enough in my life that I just had to get over the whole "self-administered" thing and I was good to go. You just do it and move on to the next thing.

Mentally, it's kind of the same thing. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to answer that question. How do I feel? I guess I'm just a straight shooter. It is what it is. I'm not a basket case (at least the drugs have not made me so up to this point), so I just say that I'm cautiously optimistic that things are going to work out. I've never been an overly emotional person though. Who knows what I will be like 3 weeks from now when I'm at ER and ET and am what they call PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise.. cute). Waiting for that 2 week BETA is the worst part of the whole gig, from what I hear.

What will I be like when I hear the news if it's positive or negative? I suppose I just have to go by my past history. If it's negative, I will take some time, talk to my doctor about why it was not successful and move on to the next try. If it's positive, I'll be cautiously optimistic until second BETA and ultrasound! HA! I'm nothing if not consistent.

Maybe I'm not being as self-aware as I need to be, but I think I've got a pretty good grasp of what's going on. Ya, this is pretty big, in the kind of life-altering scale, so I have given it some thought.

I think having two other tries in my pocket is a little bit of insurance too. Still hoping that I'm first time lucky, but really, I'll be a hell of a lot more nervous if we're at the 3rd try. Bottom of the ninth, 2 out, you know? I suppose we cross THAT bridge when we get to it.

A patch or 2 left to go and I wait for lovely Aunt Flow, then the wild ride of stims starts. Fantastic!! Let's get it on!